


Clearing the air

by lifein10s



Series: Third time's a charm [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Coming Out, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, LGBTQ Character, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Love, Music, Near Death Experiences, Organ Transplantation, Relationship(s), Sad, Sick Character, Swan-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-24 10:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8369140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifein10s/pseuds/lifein10s
Summary: Another 4 years pass until Emma and Regina run into each other again. This time, when they actually seem to finally get along there's a bigger problem floating over their heads, something they might not get over. Swanqueen. AU. Third and last part of the series 'Third time's a charm'





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is the last part of the series. It's three chapters overall and a short epilogue. I will warn you in advance, things are pretty rough in this story, less angst and more sadness but you'll see what I mean pretty quickly… Please bear with me and be patient, things will work out (I just might kill you in the process, but hey, anything for the art ;))  
> Let me know what you think :)

 

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She looked at it, twisting and turning the blonde edges between her pads.

She needs a trim.

She rolled her eyes at the direction of her thoughts and stared at the clock again. Fuck, has it really have been only five minutes?

She kept swinging her legs like a ten year old, bored out of her mind while a machine was doing the work her body failed of doing.

Then a wave of pain rushed through her veins and made her body stiffen. She knew it was coming, every single time, yet it didn't prevent the shock her body got into every time she felt that pressure in her lower abdomen and a prickliness in her hands, clawing at her vessels; like headache, only way worse.

Trust Emma to be one of the rare cases to experience that type of pain during that treatment. They all go through it, a couple hours a week, just fine but not Emma; Emma with her apparently problematic blood flow that makes this processes a living hell. But at least she's living. If she stops doing it she won't be around for long.

And it's all on her. It's her fucking fault. Hers, and the world but mainly hers.

The wave of pain finally dissipated, making room for boredom and frustration once again.

Emma turned her body to face forward with her legs folded. The room was empty since Mr. Collins, her usual 'play mate' had passed away last week. He was prickly and edgy and annoying but Emma tolerated him, even liked him at times. He made her laugh, reminded her of someone, who, she has no idea but someone. He would huff and turn and grunt, he'd get up and sit down and then get up again until the nurse would come in and instruct him to sit still. Emma would stifle her laugh at that and fail when he would turn to look at her and yell _'What are you laughing at?'_

She would burst out in a rolling laughter, the only ones she has those days, and he his lips would eventually quirk up.

Emma stared at the empty bed, the one closer to the door, for a while.

Sensing like she's being watched she lifted her gaze for a second, ready to bring it back down after confirming she's just imagining things. But the only thing that hit the floor after that was her jaw. Her eyes grew round when she saw the figure standing in the door, staring at her.

She closed her mouth and quickly turned her back away from the door and back to the window, praying that she hasn't seen her. But who is she kidding, she was standing right in front of her _looking_ at her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. She closed her eyes tightly and wished to be swallowed by the earth. Is the universe playing some type of a trick on her? A joke maybe?

She set still, her form hunched, signaling loudly 'Do not approach'

But did she ever listen? Emma thought bitterly when she heard the door click open.

Bound to this bed, to this machine, she clenched her fists and waited.

"Emma?" she asked carefully, her tone fragile.

"No" she responded bitterly, imagining her eyes roll in their socket at that. "What do you want?" she spat out.

"Why are you here?" she asked, ignoring Emma's question.

She finally turned, facing her while gesturing widely, angrily to the machine.

"What does it look like?" she bit.

"But why? How?" her gaze alternated between Emma's face, the tubes connected to her hands and stomach and the large machine stationed near her bed.

"That's what you get for drinking yourself to death" she stated somberly and folded her hands in defiance.

"I-" she bit her lip, trying to figure out what to say next.

"Why are you here?" Emma dragged the conversation out of the _'Emma is an idiot who's now paying for it'_ area.

"Henry," she answered "My son" she added after realizing that Emma has no idea who he is "he sprained his ankle and managed, quite successfully, to also rupture a ligament." She said and her face contorted at that.

Emma winced at the image "How did he manage?"

"Basketball" she dismissed "It happens a lot, but this time he also need physiotherapy."

"Mmm" Emma nodded and they entered an awkward silence.

"Do you mind if I-" she cleared her throat, looking extremely uncomfortable while gesturing to the bed "I have an hour or so…"

"Err" Emma drawled, not sure on how keen she is about spending time with her "Fine, I guess" she eventually relented. She is a grown woman, she can hold a conversation with a woman she crushed on, and then loathed, that still looks like she's fucking thirty; her mind provides while she scanned Regina's fit yet curvy figure. Emma watched in hidden astonishment at how the years only made her better, just like fine wine. There are wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, her hair is longer and her eyes are wiser, calmer and she looks even better than Emma remembered.

The same could not be said on Emma; Emma who hasn't washed her hair in days, who was forbidden from eating junk so now she barely eats at all, who's under-eyes bags have bags.

And yet that doesn't seem to matter to Regina, who now takes a seat next to her, looking at her with fond yet careful, almost guarded, eyes.

"So…" Emma drawls when it becomes too void for her to handle "How's the husband?"

She watches Regina's face cloud with sadness and irritation.

"The husband is no more" she states.

"As in…?" Emma trails off, unsure of how to approach this subject.

Regina shakes her head and laughs warily "No, we're divorced"

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that…" she places a comforting hand on Regina's forearm and squeezes. They lock eyes and just stay there.

"Hey Emma" the nurse, Lauren, enters the room "How are we doing?"

"Fine" Emma mumbles and cast her look down in shame.

"Alright" she says while checking that everything is connected properly and flowing "you have ten more minutes and then we're done. Also, I scheduled your next appointment for Thursday same time, as well as Monday next week, same time as well." She informs cheerfully and Emma sends a small, tight smile her way.

"Thank you Lauren"

"You're welcome" she walks to the door and adds last minute "I'm glad you finally have someone to keep you company" and she is out, leaving a frowning Regina and an uncomfortably stiff Emma alone.

"Leave it" Emma sighs, defeated, in a last attempt the get Regina off this subject. But who is she kidding, this is Regina we're talking about.

"What did she mean about the whole company thing?" she inquires and Emma rolls her eyes, but answers nonetheless.

"Most people have company while doing this, at least for a certain portion of the treatments."

"And you don’t" it's a half question half statement that Emma confirms by nodding "why?"

Emma snorts "Really?"

"Really"

"Well, maybe because I don’t really have anyone to accompany me" she says and it's meant to be sarcastic and half-hearted but she has a feeling that Regina can see right through it. Having guessed correctly, she watches Regina's face color with pity and just like that all of her defenses are up again.

"I see" she says while Emma's face harden.

"I think you should leave now," she says blankly, her tone devoid of emotions.

Regina opens her mouth, probably to protest, but thinks the better of it.

"Alright then" she stands, looking like she might want to say something else. But nothing comes out and she nods curtly once more before charging out of the room.

Emma waits a safe minute before slamming her face in the pillow and letting out a frustrating growl.

She is so mad, mad at herself, mad at who ever created her like that, wired her so she is drawn to Regina like a fly to fire. Why? Why does the only person she feels truly and deeply connected to, in awe by, is the person most toxic to her? And worse, why does she keep running into her? It's like she can't seem to get her out of her head and out of her life.

But now it's over, she tells herself in an attempt to calm down. Emma has been, yet again, an ass and there is no chance Regina will endure her ungrateful, prickly ass for a third time.

It's funny to think how much Emma wanted her in that plane, how hard she tried to get her attention. And look how the tables have turned. The last time, Regina practically threw herself on Emma. The timing was wrong, the whole situation was wrong and Emma was fifty shades of fucked up. But honestly, when isn't she?

Still, it doesn’t change the fact that it takes merely the sight of this woman to shake Emma's world each and every time. But she has enough on her mind, she doesn’t need that drama in her life. She is alone and she is fine with it, just like she was before Regina and Lily and the fame and she managed just fine, even better than fine.

The ten minutes are up and Lauren helps her out of the equipment. She sighs in relief and rushes to the bathroom to empty her bladder.

When she is back in her own clothes, she spends some time in the makeshift coffee shop at the same floor. It's better than being alone at home anyway. Besides, dialysis keeps her slightly dizzy for a short while after, so she waits, waits until her head isn't spinning or her muscles stop protesting.

At last, she's heading home.

Crashing into her sofa with a bottle of water she turns on the TV and watches until exhaustion makes room for sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if I mis-presented anything about dialyses, fortunately I never experienced or have known anyone who had to experience that treatment. Everything I wrote here is with the assistance of the wonderful internet.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Thursday. Reluctantly taking a seat on the bed, Emma lets Lauren hook her up to the machine.

"You know the drill," Lauren recites probably for the hundredth time that day "No touching the machine nor the tubes, if you need anything press that button and one of the nurses will arrive to assist you.  Once you're done you'll wait patiently and one of us will come to un-hook you. Any questions?"

Emma shakes her head and Lauren presses some buttons to start the process. Then, she exits the room, leaving Emma alone.

She is staring at the wall when the door opens.

"Regina?" she frowns when the brunette saunters in, grabs a nearby chair and places it next to her bed.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, her eyes following Regina's action as she takes a seat and finally turns to look at Emma.

"Keeping you company" she answers simply, as if her actions are obvious, understood.

"I- why?" she stammers, expecting the 'because you're alone' answer.

"I want to" Regina states and every comeback Emma has lined up in her head dissipates.

She fishes out two cups of coffee and pastries out of a Starbucks labeled bag.

"I brought us snacks" she hands Emma one of the cups and the blonde sends an apologizing look her way.

"I'm not supposed to eat those during, well" she gestures to the tubes "this"

"Oh, I'm sorry" Regina is quick to apologize, placing the items back in the bag.

"It's okay" Emma assures

"It should have occurred to me…"

"Really, it's fine" Emma reaches to squeeze her shoulder and then leans back.

"So," she drawls "what do we do now?"

 

***

 

They talk, talk for the entire time and somehow, despite their bickering and initial awkwardness it's the most Emma has talked in weeks.  

When the session is over and Emma suggests they eat the snacks Regina rejects that idea and suggests they sit like normal human beings in a real coffee shop. Blaming it on temporary insanity and post dialysis haze, Emma agrees.

It's nice, she dares say normal and Emma, who can't remember the last time someone actually cared for what she had to say, finds it more endearing than she should.

That upcoming Monday she keeps telling herself that this was a one-time thing, stomping her expectation to the ground. She even brings a book in case she gets bored.

The book is left untouched as she and Regina talk about every un-important thing, chatting their way to the end of the session. This time, Regina has to take Henry home. Emma waves to him and he returns it hesitantly before walking away with his mom. Emma doesn't mind and she is walking home a lot chipper than arriving from it.

At first, she is guarded, convinced that Regina has an agenda. Then, she realizes that it doesn't matter as long as she enjoys it.

They keep it up; twice a week, one time they merely talk, the other they go for a coffee. The coffee eventually turns to a full on dinners since Regina claims that that's the only way she can actually make sure Emma's eating. And Emma is finally getting some weight on, snacking and eating with Regina helps her put on some much needed body fat. She looks better, she feels better, she is better.

Well, all except her kidneys, who seem more useless than ever. The pain doesn't go away either.

It's around the second month of their new arrangement that Regina first witnesses a full pain attack. Emma is still connected to the machine when her body goes rigid and her vessels feel like they're on fire. She doubles over in pain, immediately feeling soft hands around her, steadying her.

"Emma?" Regina asks while Emma groans. That's when the other side effects kick in. Combined with her pain and fetal position her blood pressure sinks, causing a raging headache and fierce dizziness which results in Emma puking all over herself.

She waves her hands lamely, trying to push Regina away from this humiliating display.

"Stay away" she chokes out, spitting the remains of her stomach content.

"What?" Regina asks, still shocked and probably frightened as well.

"Go away, I don't want you to see me like this" she demands while blindly searching for the call button.

"Emma-" she pleads but Emma won't have any of this.

"No"

"I'm not going" she says, her eyes fiery as she continues to rub soothing circles on Emma's back.

"Please" she chokes out, finally looking up at her with watery eyes.

Regina stares at her longingly before stepping to the corner of the room, eyes worried and hands twitching as she watches the nurse helping Emma off the bed. She disconnects the machine, taking out the tubes and revealing large ugly yellow bruises from where the machine rips Emma's skin.

She watches them checking Emma's blood pressure and heartbeat. It's low and Emma is weak and despite her pleas not to Lauren asks Regina who'd be able to take care of Emma for the night, until she feels better.

Emma's pleading eyes do nothing to waver Regina's determined look when she says she will do it.

"But Regina-" Emma whines after she's back in her own clothes, having washed up and cleaned.

"No, I don’t want to hear a squeak, you're coming with me" she determines and it's all motherly protective like and Emma knows she doesn't stand a chance.

 

***

 

"This is Henry, who you've met" Regina says gently while smiling at Henry. Emma waves to him and he smiles timidly.

"Hi" he mumbles and scurries off.

"And this," she says fondly while scooping up a beautiful curly boy "is my baby boy, Roland" she kisses his cheek and he giggles. Emma smiles at that and waves at him too.

"Hello little guy"

Regina lets him down and he runs in the direction his brother just did.

Regina turns to look at her, silent for a short while, before nodding her head professionally.

"Alright then, follow me"

Emma lifts her backpack and walks after Regina in what seems to be a mansion in the heart of the city. Emma's assumptions turn out to be true as more and more of the house is revealed, proving Regina is indeed not lacking in the slightest in the money department.

She's lead to a guest room, one who has its own bathroom attached. The room is quite spacious and contains a bed, a love-seat and a closet. It's all classically designed with cream colors and a sort of a clean-simplistic motif.

"I hope this would do" Regina says politely and Emma nods.

"This is great, thanks"

"Good" Regina seems satisfied "Why don't you get settled, shower if you feel like and then come join me in the kitchen once you're done." She's half requesting, half demanding, scurrying off before Emma gets to reply.

 

***

 

"Need any help?" Emma asks eventually. She stares first, for a good few minutes, watching Regina dance around her kitchen with grace.

"Oh" Regina turns, oblivious to her presence until that moment "Set the table please" she gestures towards a pile of plates and silverware sitting on the kitchen island.

"Sure"

They sit is silence, eating.

And the food is great, it honestly is, only Emma can't recall the last time she ate something substantial that isn't a snack. She is awfully full and her plate is still nowhere near empty. She lifts her gaze to meet Regina's.

"Is everything okay? Is the food not to your liking?" Regina asks, eyeing her plate.

Oh.

"Yes, it's great" she's quick to assure and when Regina lifts an eyebrow she adds "It's just the nausea," she adds quietly "it's still…" she trails off but Regina nods in understanding. She feels bad about lying but she knows Regina knowing the real reason would cause much more damage than this excuse and for some reason, she cares about what Regina thinks.

They finish the meal and Henry immediately starts cleaning up the table. Emma watches him, impressed with Regina's education since her kids are obviously well mannered.

"Moma" Roland chirps from his heightened seat, the one Regina explained is a 'throne' so he wouldn't feel inferior. "It's time to go to the beach" he says seriously and Regina nods.

"That's right honey"

She catches Emma's frown.

"The bath is the ocean" she says quietly in her ear while she moves to pick him up "and it's the only way to get him to shower"

Emma snickers and Regina smiles warmly at her before scooping little Roland up and exiting the room.

Henry comes back a minute later. They stare awkwardly at each other.

"So…" he's swaying on the balls of his feet, seemingly uncomfortable "do you like x-box?"

 

***

 

It's proving to be a problem detaching them after they start. They both turn out to be extremely competitive as well as pretty similar in skill which creates a fierce competition. Regina has to use her scary face and snatch the remote from Henry's hands in order to send him to bed.

Henry and Emma's pouts are identical in the most comical of ways.

"I'm sorry I had to ruin the fun for you two kids" Regina bites playfully once they settle in her study.

She approaches the cabinet, pulling out a pair of tumblers as well as an expensive looking Scotch. Emma's stomach flips at the sight of booze.

"Would you like some -?" she halts, realizing what she was about to ask and her eyes go round. "I'm so sorry" she says, hastily putting the bottle back in the cabinet as well as the one glass she hasn't filled yet.

"That's okay" Emma promises.

"I'll go spill it" she lifts the filled glass.

"Oh please don’t, shame, it looks like a great Scotch. Drink it" she smiles encouragingly at her. Regina seems to weight her options.

"Alright then" she says, taking a sit next to Emma "but no taking advantage of me while I'm drunk" she jokes and Emma rolls her eyes.

"May I remind that the only one who kept throwing herself on someone was you" she laughs at Regina's offended expression.

"I did not _throw_ myself at you" she says, her voice serious but her eyes shining with something else. Playfulness, maybe challenge, Emma can't tell.

"Sure, let's go with that" Emma smiles and Regina sends a deadly look her way that breaks into a small smile.

 

***

 

"Do you regret it?"

"What?"

"You're life" Regina asks, emptying her third or fourth glass, Emma didn’t keep track.

She sighs, chewing her lower lips as the brunette watches her. She is more comfortable now, approachable, with her shoes off and legs curled underneath her thighs, leaning on her hand watching Emma.

"I guess the simplified answer is yes" she says sadly, trying but miserably failing in laughing it off.

"Most people get married and have kids. Even if the marriage don't work you can never un-love your child, you can never regret the best thing you've ever done." She takes a breath "people who have kids can never fully regret their lives; but us, the childless ones, can. And I guess I do."

She finishes and ducks her head down.

"I don't" Regina says quietly.

"Of course you're not, as I've said you have kids." Emma reasons but Regina shakes her head.

"I meant I don't regret your life"

"Huh?"

"If you hadn't lived your life the way you did I would never have met you" she locks eyes with Emma and they're caring and sincere. She looks away.

"It's a little selfish don't you think? Wishing me all that misery just so you can have me in your life? What do I even mean to you anyway."

"It is selfish" she scoots closer, placing a hand on Emma's thigh "But you mean more than you can ever imagine"

She is still staring at her lap when she hears the click of the glass being placed on the wooden table. Then Regina's lips are on hers, gentle, caring, hesitating, so different from the other times.

She breaks the kiss.

"What-?"

"I want you" Regina says, staring intently into her eyes and when Emma still frowns she says it again "I _want_ you"

She kisses her again and this time Emma kisses back, running her hands in the chestnut hair, grazing her neck, down her back and to her hips.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… This is the last chapter (minus the epilogue that I'll post in a couple of days) of this story. I think it's important for me to mention that this story changed its resolution with each part; Skyhigh was almost micro, describing one specific conversation in detail. Parting ways was slightly larger in scale, following a three day journey. This part is macro all the way. You might have not felt it as strongly so far but it's definitely showing in this chapter. I cared more about the bigger picture, about the over-time process here and that's why you'll see major time jumps starting from weeks and all the way to months. Almost like looking at chosen moments from the journey. It felt right writing it this way… but it also means seeing usually slow processes move faster, becoming sudden even. With that said, I do hope you'll enjoy it, please hang on though since it's definitely an emotional rollercoaster.

 

They don't mention the kissing the next morning and Emma isn't stupid enough to assume that all that was said was more than drunken rambling.

The only thing she can't shake is the tenderness of it all. As if not even a single ounce of lust was put into that kiss, just gentleness, caring, she dares say loving. On paper, everything Emma could have asked for, everything she ever wanted from Regina on that plane all those years ago but in reality the rawness, this feeling of exposure made Emma uncomfortable.

So she keeps her mouth shut about it and so does Regina, continuing as if nothing happened that night on the couch, as if heartbreaking confessions and loving kisses weren't shared between the two ladies who can't keep themselves apart.

Emma is visiting now, coming to Regina's house for dinners, going to movies Regina desperately wants to watch, having lazy Sundays at the Park while Roland and Henry run around.

They're friends and it feels good, better than before and Emma settles for that friendship knowing that greediness would only lead her to losing everything.

In the end greedy or not, Emma loses.

They sit in a coffee shop when Emma collapses. After a hysterical Regina calling an ambulance, a drive to the hospital and multiple tests they announce that Emma's kidneys are failing.

Suddenly it's not dialysis twice a week but almost daily and no coffee and no sugar and only healthy foods and gallons of water and gentle exercising. And Emma doesn’t know how to digest it all, how to maintain all of those demands. Regina does.

Regina takes her to a half an hour walk, Regina cooks healthy food for her and fills her fridge, Regina makes sure she drinks her water, Regina practically moves Emma to her house so she can supervise.

Regina works from the hospital room, making phones and typing furiously while Emma's blood is being cleansed. Regina puts her on the Kidney transplant list despite Emma claiming that she has no chance _. 'Alcoholics don't get very high on that list'_ Emma states bitterly but Regina just slaps her hand away and finishes filling the form.

Regina is also the one to start pulling all of her strings when months pass and Emma is showing no signs of moving up the list. She yells on the phone and threatens careers and inflicts terror on anyone who tries to avoid helping Emma.

In the mean while Emma disappears; she gets weaker, skinnier, greyer. She stops fighting so Regina fights twice as hard. She brings Henry and Roland so Emma has to talk and has to smile and has to communicate.

And the more Emma fades the stronger Regina pulls her back in. She's affectionate, more affectionate as the time passes; she holds her hand and kisses her head and grazes her knees and thighs. Sometimes, when no one watches she discards her shoes and squeezes next to Emma in the hospital bed, holding tight.

That's when Emma asks _'Why are you doing this?_ ' and Regina mumbles into her cheek _'I lost you twice already and this time I'm not letting you go'_

 

***

 

In the end, Regina folds and calls her mother, something that Emma understands isn't a normal occurrence. She leaves the room for that conversation and when she comes back she's slightly paler but her eyes are determined.

_"You're going to get a kidney"_

 

***

 

Somehow, despite Emma laughing at Regina ( _'Is your mother god?'_ ) things start moving. It takes a couple of weeks but eventually Emma gets the call.

_'We have a donor'_

Emma waits for Regina to come home from work. Yes, Regina's home is practically hers nowadays. She almost bites off all of her nails while waiting for her return.

She stands near the entrance, leaning on the table for support when she hears the car pull in.

When Regina opens the door she halts at the sight of Emma.

"What are you doing standing up?" she asks while placing her coat in the closet and her bag on the rack.

Her back is still to Emma when a smile spreads on her face and she calmly says

"They found a donor"

Regina's head snaps up and she turns to look at Emma, shocked.

"Really?" she asks skeptically, as if expecting Emma to joke on such an important matter.

Her smile broadens to a beam and she nods once. It's enough for Regina to let out something between a sob and a watery laugh and she charges forward and scoops Emma into a hug. And Emma is so happy that she doesn't even care about the pain when Regina squeezes her tightly.

"Oh god, oh god!" Regina mumbles in disbelief and Emma realizes that she's literally shaking. They stay there, Emma rubbing Regina's back for once as the brunette half laughs and half cries in relief.

"I can't believe it" she mumbles into Emma's skin.

"I know" she says with a smile and her eyes close when Regina starts frantically pressing kisses all over her neck; sloppy, tear stricken kisses up to her jaw and down all the way to her shoulders. She goes up again, behind her ear and all over her jaw while still mumbling _'I can't believe it'_.

Emma's breath quickens the closer Regina gets to her mouth; to her cheek, the side of her mouth and then she's kissing her, and it's the perfect combination of love, lust and desperation. It's forceful and gentle and Regina hangs on to her shirt for dear life.

Eventually they break the kiss, foreheads leaning against each another.

"You are never leaving" Regina commands and Emma is nodding, anything to give Regina, who's been tearing herself apart for the past few months, a little piece of mind.

"I'm not" she snakes a hand around Regina's hips as she catches her breath.

"Never" Regina says again, just for good measure and kisses Emma's breath away.

 

***

 

Emma doesn't know what they are.

She never had anything like it before. It's as if the physical part is important but is nowhere near the essence of what they have. Sometime they can seat for hours, merely touching, and Emma is more fulfilled and content than she had ever been.

They can go without kissing for days, just like friends, until one of them would pull the other into a scorching kiss.

They are lying in her bed when Emma asks about Regina and her mother she simply says

"I spent enough time living for her, it's time to live for me. Not all that shines is gold Emma, I was unhappy for the most part of my life and no matter how successful you are in the mask you create you cannot be happy when the life you live aren't truly yours. I feared my mom and it locked me in the closet for far too many years but I'm done, I want to be happy."

Emma laced their fingers together before carefully asking.

"And what makes you happy?"

"My beautiful boys and you"

It was so simple and yet so powerful. In such a short sentence with so little effort Regina has managed to make her feel like she had a family, something she never truly had before. That time it's was Emma who jumps on Regina and kisses her until they lips are bruised and swollen and their eyes glazed over.

 

***

 

It is days before her surgery when Emma finally decides to honor Regina's request; one she has made almost nine years ago, but still.

She drives to her dusty, deserted apartment and picks up her beloved guitar. Not a new, shiny, expensive one like she has a dozen but her original one; Battered and scratched and fairly amateur but hers, the one who started it all.

That night when Regina gets home she plays every single song of hers that Regina wants, singing only for her, to her. Her smooth voice drifting back and forth between them, creating an inexplicable connection, deeper than before. And the words fit like a glove, so perfectly that Emma can't help but wonder if she has written everything for her. Not consciously of course, but maybe somewhere in the back of her mind. Maybe Regina never left like Emma thought she did, merely retracted to the shadows, waiting to reappear.

Emma plays until she runs out of songs and then Regina asks for random ones. They continue until Roland crashes on the sofa and Henry retires to his room.

She continues until her voice is raspy and her throat screams for relief and that's when Regina intertwines their fingers, leading her to her bedroom.

This time, they don't just sit or talk. Regina kisses her until there are bursts of light at the corners of her eyes and undresses her slowly, cherishing every newly exposed skin. She kisses and nips and sucks and runs her hands all over Emma's creamy skin.

Emma groans when she stops, her groan soon turns to a moan when Regina sheds her nightgown and presses their naked bodies together.

And there's no rush in the way they explore and memorize each other. Tentative touches until they find a sweet spot, a sensitive one and once their hands reach lower its all velvety and slippery and oh so close to the edge.

Regina is relentless, not letting Emma get down from her high before charging in again. Hands and then mouth and then a combination of the two. And Emma is somewhere between earth and heaven when Regina whispers 'I love you' in her ear.

Then it's Emma's turn. Turning them over and devouring Regina until her eyes roll and her body is sweaty and shaking beyond control.

"I love you too" Emma whispers into her skin, her hands squeezing Regina thighs, prying them open and lowering her body, molding them into one. "I love you so much"

Regina holds her tightly, almost as if afraid she will run away.

"You're not going away do you hear me?" Emma lifts herself to look at Regina's piercing eyes "You are mine" she determines and Emma lowers her herself to kiss her mouth and then her nose in an intimate gesture.

"I'm not going anywhere" she promises with a smile before settling next to Regina. Snuggled tightly into each other, they drift to sleep.

 

***

 

"I'll be fine" she assures while squeezing her hand.

"Damn right you will, or I'll kill you" Regina squeezes back, smiling when Emma snorts at her answer.

"That doesn't even make sense" she says and Regina rolls her eyes.

"Shut up" she leans in for a kiss.

They both turn to look at the door when the medical staff enters the room, making their way to Emma's bed.

Regina looks at her again, this time with watery eyes.

"You're a fighter" she says with a wavering voice "so you fight do you understand me?" she demands and Emma nods.

"You fight" she repeats, not breaking their eyes connection for a second.

"I love you" Emma smiles up at her and Regina returns the smile but it lacks of its usual mountain-moving power.

"I love you too"

She kisses her one last time before they roll her bed out of the room and into the O.R.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I stopped at a terrible point but that's kind of my trade mark ;) The epilogue is extremely short so it shouldn't take more than a day or two for it to be up so at least the wait isn't as long as it could have been… Please let me know what you think since this has definitely been a new experience and a new style of writing for me.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the epilogue, it's extremely short yet very important, at least to me. Enjoy :)

 

"No" Emma says into the silent space.

"What?" Regina frowns in response.

"I don't regret my life," she says calmly. She can feel Regina's eyes on her but she keeps staring ahead, into the ocean in front of them. "Not anymore"

She smiles when Regina plasters a kiss on her cheek.

"Is it because of her?" Regina asks, amused.

Emma lets out a laugh and shakes her head.

"Partially" she says eventually "but you and Henry and Roland would have been enough"

Regina kisses her and she kisses back, hands snaking around narrow hips, descending down until they squeeze a firm behind.

"Kiss ass" Regina teases, her mouth inches away from Emma's.

Emma chuckles.

"I wish I could lift you up and take you to bed" she lifts her eyebrows suggestively. It's Regina's turn to laugh.

"I don't think that's wise" she says with a smirk while her hands ghost over Emma's round belly "we wouldn't want her to arrive ahead of her time, wouldn't we?"

"Mmm" Emma says while nipping Regina's jawline "just you then" she murmurs and Regina's eyes flutter close.

"I can't ask that of you" she says but her voice is airy and Emma knows she is turned on, enough to be persuaded.

So she walks to the bed and lies on her back.

"Come sit, my queen" she pats the mattress next to her head and winks. Regina doesn’t argue after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And… that's it. A moment of happiness to end what can only be described as one hell of a journey.
> 
> I really hoped you enjoyed that story, I know I had a lot of fun writing it. I want to thank you for your time, comments, likes and generally your support. You may think you just leave a short comment but for the writer on the other side it means the world. It started as a one-shot nagging at the back of my head and I'm glad I surrendered to the crave and wrote it down. First story that isn't a one-shot that I actually finish writing and I'm not going to lie; it feels goddamn awesome :)


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